Someone in Need of a Someone

By Sarah Brooks

I can distinctly remember the first time I took my newborn baby boy to church. I sat in the very back of a middle school gym, behind raised hands and loud voices, praying he would sleep through the whole service. 

Every new mother, I am convinced, whether she wants to admit it or not, has prayed and hoped she could make it through an event without her sleeping baby waking. And it’s because the idea of gracefully caring for your crying baby, with watchful eyes, is absolutely intimidating.

It was 104 degrees outside on a hot Arizona August day (I remember the green digits staring back at me when I arrived safely back to our car). I hadn’t quite conquered nursing in public and as a new mother, I was frightened to try. My baby boy was a great sleeper and was a sweet baby, but when he was hungry–he screamed. I mean, SCREEEEAMED.

He would let out this high pitched pterodactyl screech. And I walked a line of hope and vigilance so that I could anticipate his needs before his teapot scream was unleashed.

As most mamas know, it’s often when the world gets quiet that our babies suddenly can’t sleep. And sure enough, my little man began to stir once the music stopped. I got him out of his car seat, acutely aware that his cry could bring all attention to the back of the room. 

I could feel my pulse race and the sweat beginning to pour as I covered us both with a cover. He wasn’t having the whole situation, and my cheeks turned bright red as the heads in the corner of my view turned to see why there was a baby fussing in the back.

Well, needless to say, we ended up in the girls’ locker room that was even hotter. I don’t think I need to share the smells that lingered in the more private space.

And I cried. 

I later watched a mother of two sit in front of me, and nurse her babe without any difficulty or noise. Why was this so hard for me?

I don’t know if I wanted to admit that I needed help and some mothering advice or tips. I wanted to be the mom who was a natural. 

My insecurities as a new mom loomed over my thoughts and took up space in my heart; but I think even more so, I had a deep desire to be known and understood.

What I needed, a sleep-deprived brand-new mom, was a friend, who had gone before, to say, “I see you. Jesus sees you. You are doing an amazing job, mama. I am here for you.”

Well, that sweet baby boy is now a thriving 5th grader, a big brother to four siblings and is perfectly capable of getting his own snacks. We somehow survived. And my mom “treasure box” is more full, as I parent with more confidence.

We’ve made it through the newborn stage with all of our children, and through potty training, traveling and being in public with toddlers, and all of the other hoops and hills you have to jump through and climb when you have littles under three. I even carried and gave birth to twins, which would have totally freaked me out to know that as a new mom (can we just be grateful for God’s timing that he doesn’t always tell us the future plans?). 

The things that really stressed me out as a mom with one tiny infant, with experience and time, weirdly were hardly a matter by babies 4 & 5.

And yet, as I sit here staring at the water bottle that one of my kids forgot to take to school, and school work from another that didn’t get the greatest marks, plus a pile of dishes and laundry and a long list of to-do’s that HAVE to be done, I can’t help but think, “This is still really hard.” 

And it feels hard because IT IS hard. 

As a busy mom of five, I’m so familiar with overwhelm, stress, feeling alone, and wondering if my kids are going to love Jesus when they grow up or if they will make good choices as teenagers and young adults. I know what it’s like to never feel caught up and to overthink and then second guess every decision.

But here’s the deal, with more experience comes knowledge, and with knowledge comes an understanding that—we aren’t meant to do this alone. 

Why was it so hard to admit that as a new mom?

There is such a weird string of pride that follows closely behind a mother who wants to ask for help. For guidance. For Shepherding. 

Something shifted in me as a mother and woman. I don’t know if it was when we saw two little squishes on our ultrasound screen (with three little fellas waiting in the other room), or if it was my tired weary body taking a delicious warm casserole from a friend after I birthed said squishes. I just know somewhere, the more I learned and the more wisdom (or ha! Maybe let’s call them parenting tricks) I acquired, the more I realized that it’s not about arriving as a mom. There will always be stress.

It’s about leaning in and trusting God with it all. And surrendering our insecurities as we lean into one another. 

We all need a mentor. Someone who has gone before, to guide us on what is next. To remind us of truths. To cover us in prayer. 

As a mother, I have learned, the enemy absolutely loves to sneak in on us. He looks at a mama when she is most tired and vulnerable, and he loves to tell us that we’re alone, that we are a failure, that we’ll never keep up and that we’re just going to screw this up.

And I think young prideful me let him win several battles. I believed the lies.

But today I can tell you, they are just that. Lies. And seeking out prayer, community and encouragement was my weapon against his lies. 

Alone is a lie. We were not put on this earth to do hard things by ourselves.

It was when I began to open up, to seek advice and help, to lean into ones wiser and older than me, that I began to flourish. 

And flourishing doesn’t look like never asking for help. It looks like growing, learning, thriving, finding more patience and wisdom, and leaning into PEOPLE.

It's funny – I feel more equipped and yet I feel more in need of that mentoring relationship that I craved as a new mom.

We are created for community. And Jesus smiles when we thrive through relationships that point us back to Him.

I don't know if you're reading this and relating to my experiences as a mother, or maybe you're reading this and just recognize the humanity in it all. The message for me is whether it's parenthood, work, relationships, stress, finances–each and everyone of us needs a friend, a guide, a person to sit with to help remind us of God’s Truth and His freedom, joy, peace, wisdom and love that He wants us to claim.

I excitedly write this now as an official partner with The MORE Mentoring team. And I am filled with great joy. Over my motherhood journey, I have been blessed with some amazing women and mentors. Looking further into MORE Mentoring, I believe with all my heart that there's something really special about this ministry, as it better equips people to mentor others well while continually pointing them to Jesus.

This is the work of folks who are aiming to advance the kingdom of God. 

I want this for more people. For the woman who feels lonely, for the man who needs direction, for the sister who is longing for a baby, or the mom who is now experiencing an empty nest…

The deep desire for connection is always there.

We are all someone, who is in need of a someone. 

May we be brave to admit that we do, and hold compassion to be that someone for another friend. 

"Let's keep a firm grip on the promises that keep us going. He always keeps his word. Let's see how inventive we can be in encouraging love and helping out, not avoiding worshiping together as some do but spurring each other on, especially as we see the big Day approaching." Hebrews 10:23-25 (MSG)

Sarah is a mom of 5 and wife to her hubby Joe for 16 years! She loves Jesus and is passionate about championing others in their faith. Sarah has led and mentored women in their health and fitness for 10 years, and is always looking for a way to be active with others. She loves quality time and adventures with her family, concerts, and gathering around the table with good food and friends. Don't ask her to choose between the mountains or the beach. Just give her a good historical fiction book, and take her on vacay!